wiki leaks again

i've not yet decided where i stand on this whole wikileaks thing. there is a part of me that rather enjoys the "no shit sherlock" vindication of my long-held beliefs that the obama administration is much better at chess than were the bushies (see cables between u.s. and russia over the missile defense move in exchange for a vote against iran, see cables between u.s. and saudi arabia to get china onto saudi's oil and off iran's, and see cable from the saudi king expressing anger over bush's insistence on "handing iraq to iran on a golden platter," after the king strongly advised against going to war in iraq).

on the other hand, there's something kind of fucked up about the detailed exposure of intricate and presumably diabolical manipulations the leader of the free world must engage in to maintain that salutation, not to mention the safety and sanctity of america. i mean, think about it. we are america. we are the great ones, the "exceptional" if you will. we are pillars of democracy, the tower of strength to the rest of the world, the moral compass we ask others to follow. can we really be all that whilst also playing manipulative games with this country over that, this leader over that, pulling this punch here in order to deliver it there?

for those of us with a working brain and an eye toward the reality of the modern world, the word "duh" does come to mind. but we live in a country full of simpletons who believe the words of "wisdom" spoon fed to them by the likes of glenn beck, sarah palin, and rush limbaugh. we also live in a world where mahmoud ahmadinejad has access to wikileaks (see cables from every leader around the world calling him crazy and telling the u.s. to let israel bomb the fuck out of iran).

so how appropriate is it to over-share the details of what really does go on in the game of multinational diplomacy? and can america stand tall atop the mountain of moral superiority whilst rolling around in the machiavellian mud with the rest of the riff-raff?

you decide.

~k

what if

i think "what if" is a question we've all asked. probably more than once. some of us wonder, others dwell, sometimes in and out of heartbreak and sometimes just because. sometimes out of curiosity, others out of regret, but it's one of those questions in life we can't help but ask from time to time.

i've asked a lot this week past. my dearest little kbd, hot off the midterm campaign trail, has been staying with me since my birthday. with her comes memories of the greatest adventure of my life (so far), obama's campaign trail. i started in texas, met my little kbd in indiana, followed her to south dakota, gave her refuge on the music box steps whilst awaiting her general orders, and watched her leave for florida when that call came.

so, what if? what if, instead of watching her leave for florida, i had followed her there?

i would have given up my music box steps and a six-figure salary to go earn peanuts and live with strangers in orlando. i like to fancy that i'd've been her regional deputy field director, though i may've been a field organizer (with my golden pick of turf). i would have won, and won many accolades doing so, and knowing me, i'd've followed them north to washington, where i would have couch surfed whilst banging on doors and pounding pavement so's to land myself a gig in the president's administration. and i would have.

my last two years would have been very different than they have been. they would have been mired in uncertainty, adventure, and semi-organized chaos. i would have a white house stamp on my resume instead of that of a private-sector director. i would be well on my way to becoming a washington insider, and hating it as much as i do as a washington outsider wanting to stay that way.

i would pretty much be right where i am (though living in a much less lush apartment). i would still have been in zip's wedding in chicago this past june, and i would still be in the throes of the life-changing love affair that started that weekend. and i would still be clawing my way out of this wretchedly douchey city.

so whilst i've no doubt the path would have been much different, i'd still have made my way to this place. for once in my life, it seems i may've chosen the easier path, fraught with fewer gray hairs and wrinkles (thank goodness!) and a much better resume for my next job search. i'm not saying it stops me from thinking about how much fun that other path might have been, how rewarding, how adventurous, and how exciting. but there is some comfort in knowing that i still made it to the place i'm meant to be, and to the person i'm meant to be with.

i guess in asking what if and circling about the possibilities, i've discovered that though i may have chosen the path, the destination was always here, just waiting for me to arrive.

~k

my birthday

last year, my birthday was a really big deal and an even bigger production. before whisking myself off to europe for two weeks of celebrating me (i mean, it was a really big deal for me to get to that place where i was perfectly happy with me, accepting of where and how i got there, and knowing i was due for some big changes), 25 of my closest friends and i had a fabby pho dinner and too many drinks at my favorite neighborhood watering hole. (lotsa favorites last year)

leading up to that night, and through it all, i probably said a hundred times, "this is my last birthday in LA". i didn't know where i was going or how i was getting there, but i knew los angeles and i were ready to part ways after our tumultuous 13 years together.

and here i am. away from los angeles. all the way on the other side of the country, preparing myself for a birthday of a totally different sort. good stuff indeed. my staff is taking "our big kahuna, the fearless leader, the momma of all mommas... to celebrate her 25th birthday," i'm going to treat myself to my first shopping trip since moving to the district five months ago, and then i'm having dinner with my two closest local friends, and (bless her) my kbd-litttle who's coming into DC hot off the campaign trail to make it in time for my birthday.

but i'm still sad. it's just not the same. i live in a place i just can't call home, don't have the network, love, and friendship i had on the other coast, my love is in his time zone for his own birthday without me this week, and it just kinda symbolizes everything else about this new life i so badly wanted: cold and lonely. this year i think i'll be a little more careful about what i wish for before blowing out the candles in my birthday baklava...

~k

a head of air

i've nothing to say.

the end.

~k

post-election rundown

okay, the fat lady has sung, repugs took the house, and my thoughts've been requested.

my initial thought is one of giddiness. it's no fun for me to bag on a potus i love so much. and despite the thoughts of many, i never hated nancy pelosi or even harry reid (though i do think the latter is a bit of a pussy). and as incompetent as the now-lameduck congress has been the past two years, i sincerely believe such is the nature of the game, something that cannot change without an overhaul of washingtonian business the likes of which will take a calamity so great the entire city falls into the potomac. so going nutso on the democrats and bagging them to high hell was never something i was going to do, here or otherwise. john boner and team douchebag (R-all over), on the other hand, means open season here on the music box steps.

and i'm going to start with, "day 2, boner, where are the fucking jobs?"

i also think it will make my job in 2012, to get president obama elected for his second term, a whole lot easier. i mean, the "no to everything" days are over. if team douchebag really does care about america, they're going to actually have to do something. they are going to have to work with the president. if they do nothing, dems win handily in 2012. if they do something and the economy does turn around, guess who benefits come election day? that's right, president obama.

so, my initial thoughts are all kinda good. in the back of my mind, i always did kinda hope it would go this way (though probably not this badly, and not without the hefty concern that it could start an impeachment witchhunt (which would be a very bad calculation on the part of team douchebag (and even i don't think they can possibly be that dumb (can they?)))). i mean, look how good it was for the country when this happened to reagan in '82 and clinton in '94. things got done. they became better presidents. balance was restored. and balance is a good thing, or at least it can be. i would be a little more confident in believing such if the current g.o.p. wasn't such a giant pool of nincompoops.

but we shall see, and i shall snarkily share my thoughts on what will no doubt be a most interesting two years... i might even start watching msnbc on occasion in order to heat up the vitriol. i mean, if you can't beat 'em, join em, right?

~k

a landscape painted in madness

we're six days away from the next big election. pundits are out in full force, proclamations a plenty that the downfall of democrats will amount to a blood bath. and whilst i've no doubt dems are going to lose plenty of seats in the house, and maybe even a couple in the senate, i don't foresee a slaughter of any sort. in fact, i think i'll go ahead and hold my breath till the fat lady sings.

not that i should, really. i mean, part of me wonders if the president wouldn't be better off in the long term if republicans were to take the house. and then the other part of me reminds my innder idealist that republicans in charge with a democrat in the white house means impeachment proceedings, following months and months of wasted legislating time whilst special investigators and special prosecutors search high and low for any seed that may bear the fruit of a spoiled presidency.

and i pick up my newspaper and i'm reminded of a near 10% unemployment rate (that would likely be nearer 14% sans the stimulus). of a china that's behaving a little more spoilt and persnickety about the value of its currency, its role in southeast asia, and its control over certain minerals we need for our fancy tv's. of america's crumbling infrastructure, dismal education statistics, and the lack of a progressive energy policy. not to mention a still unstable afghanistan, a slightly more stable iraq, a lunatic in charge in iran, and a whole slew of other issues that seem too important to be wasting time chasing after a fantasy impeachment (especially considering that the democrats chose not to pursue an impeachment of our last liar-in-chief (i'm almost beyond sick of democrats taking the higher road)).

we need people in washington who are serious about solving serious problems. and i don't see that seriousness coming from the witches, bigots, and big-money failures on the right. in fact, all i see on the right is the exploitation of americans' fear, stirring up fear of muslims, stirring up shit about the giant deficits we're running, and stoking the flames of racial biases. all the while, simply repeating conservative talking points via their pledge to america (ones identical to their 1994 "contract with america"), but without offering one iota of a solution, a how to, a way out of this mess. and why is that?

because republicans aren't serious enough to be honest about the level of austerity measures and tax increases that will be necessary to get us out of the hole we're currently in. we are going to have to raise the retirement age, we are going to have to reform social security and medicare, we are going to have to raise taxes on everyone - eventually. we cannot sustain the current spending without raising revenue, but no one on either side of the aisle wants to seriously discuss what that means. and it's in large part because no one in america really wants to face the reality of austerity.

it's going to take a lot more courage than i can see in either party to deal with the problems this country and the world faces right now, but talking points, nonsensical claims, teabaggers funded by billionaires whose own political ideology exploits the same people who carry its flag (i.e. "The koch brothers must be laughing all the way to the bank knowing that working Americans are aiding and abetting their selfish interests."), and democrats who can't even band together and brag about their tremendous accomplishments the past two years (saving the economy from the brink of disaster, healthcare reform, cutting taxes for 95% of americans, just to name a few) aren't going to get us anywhere.

the fact is, someone's gotta spend money to turn the economy around, and with main streets' credit cards maxed, banks hoarding their cash reserves, and billionaires spending all their money on political ads to buy elections, the only spender left on the block is the federal government. we wanna see real tragedy, we should see what the country would look like without its spending. and we should worry more about stabilizing our country right now with big spending on, to name one, big infrastructure projects (talk about killing two birds with one stone: unemployment and falling bridges), and then focus seriously and courageously on the necessary measures in prudency and tax hikes it will take to get us back on the right track.

and i can only hope and pray that come next tuesday, americans will pull the lever that will continue the progressive problem solving, leave the gop in the same dusty ditch from whence it pulled its regurgitated propaganda piece to take america back, and help push america forward.

GOTMFV!

~k

my sassy bitch

i am trying so hard to train my little puppy to do some tricks for treats. she's got "sit" down pat. "lie down" is another one that she responds to as's meant. everything else is a battle, and she'll do it, but totally begrudgingly. fer instance, here's a little replay of our conversation today:

~k: sit.

[scarlet sits]

~k: lie down.

[scarlet lies down]

~k: good girl.

[scarlet gets tasty treat]

~k: roll over, roll over, roll over.

[k helps scarlet roll over and gives her a treat along with a lot of praise]

~k: sit. [scarlet sits]. good girl. lie down.

~scarlet: bark bark bark bark

[lies down while continuing to bark]

~k: [laughing] good girl. roll over.

~scarlet: bark bark bark bark, growl, bark bark

[k interprets this display of haughtiness as "fuck you, mom" and gives scarlet a treat for lying down as told (whilst laughing the whole time)].

- repeat the above six lines about five times before i gave up. and just as i was going through the last round of "roll over", scarlet stopped barking long enough to shake my hand before snatching the last treat out of my other hand.

gawd i love my sassy little bitch!

~k