a naysayer says

i've been watching the current discourse with a disaffected interest. for the first time i can remember, i do not believe that our politicians have america's best interests at heart.

i've long been a defender of public servants on both sides of the aisle - in perhaps this one regard only - in my sincere belief that we all love america, we simply disagree on the government's role in things. however, as i peer into the cesspool inside the beltway, listen to the budget busting bullshit being spewed not just by current office-holders but also by those seeking offfice, i am utterly aghast.

how anyone on the planet who knows jack shit about debt, defaults, volatile stock markets, and _very_fragile_economic_recoveries_ can even consider not raising our debt ceiling is beyond my apparent meager comprehension skills.

does it really take a degree in rocket science or advanced economics to understand what will likley happen if we default on our debt? let's see. first, our credit rating takes a nose dive which will double the interest we're paying on the debt we legally incurred and are morally bound to repay. secondly, our stock market will take a giant shit; anyone wanna take a guess as to how much? 600 points? 700? if our federal government can no longer borrow money (and folks, how many fucking times do i need to remind that our economy is based almost entirely on spending and if consumers can't spend, the government _must_ spend or the economy jumps off a cliff), our economy is doomed.

and what happens if our economy completely falters? municipalities around the country will go bankrupt, constituents all over america will follow suit, there will be absolutely no money to build or repair infrastructure, hospitals will have to start turning away medicare and medicaid patients cuz there won't be any money to pay those bills, social security payments will cease, every old person in america will have to move in with their kids or into a homeless shelter, and america will be full of destitute, homeless, hungry people living in a country with broken roads to empty houses. america. will. die.

so tell me, are all those sycophants and all the teabaggers that brought them to power really looking out for america's best interests? (and yes, i blame this almost entirely on the GOP for (a) getting us into this mess in the first place, (b) successfully blaming it on the democrats who are too big of pussies to adequately defend themselves, (c) refusing to acknowledge what everyone else in the entire world already knows - that we cannot get out of this debt crisis without raising revenue, and (d) its absurd contempt for compromise). i think not.

not unless they genuinely believe that the best thing for america is a modern day sacking.

~k

a lesson in etiquette

R.S.V.P. = respondez s'il vous plait, french for "reply please".

it doesn't mean do nothing. it doesn't mean you don't need to respond if you aren't going. it means FUCKING RESPOND!

for folks (like me at the moment) in the throes of planning an event, things like headcount are important. we need to know how much booze to have on hand, our caterers need to know how much food to bring, and we need to know how many cupcakes to have on the fucking dessert tray. and if there's one thing we don't need, it's to have to call your lazy, inconsiderate ass to see if you're coming or not, cuz it's not like we don't already have enough going on.

this has been a big beef for me for a really long time, refreshed anew because my cousin is getting married next weekend, and had to call several members of his own family last week in order to get a final head count to his caterer.

and i realized that in 45 days i too will be getting married, and have no doubt that a few days before i owe my final headcount to my caterer, i will be calling many of the same people to ask the same damn question. thing is, my call will come with a lecture on etiquette, and i'll be a royal bitch about it too.

~k

multi-city workings

i think having a grown up job in my field must mean that i'm meant to have more than one office under my purview. which is fine. i'm not one to complain about being a regular visitor to another town - even if town #2 is chicago.

zip lives in chicago so i've long been a frequenter, and for those of you who frequent my ramblings you probably know i'm not chicago's biggest fan (and i really really hate the cubs). no lie, chicago's a super fun town. i don't recall ever having a bad time (or even a bad experience) there. there's typically lots of drinking, eating shit i wouldn't dream of looking at calorie and fat count, and a general hop about town.

but there's something about chicago i don't like. it's dark and dreary in a way. it's almost always cold - even in the summer (save the two days last week that it was over 90, before dropping 40 degrees for my last few days), and it just seems sad. rumbling along the el, i watched the cityscape around me. buildings looking old and decrepit as far as the eye could see, dark in color, and stained even further by a century's worth of soot, seemingly slumping atop blocks and blocks of downtrodden urbania. taxi'ing along lakeshore on one of those two hot days, the beaches were packed (like nothing i've ever seen) with swimmers, sunbathers, and hundreds of volleyball players - all basking in the summery day that would fade into a dreary oblivion within hours. you've gotta give a hand to chicagoans for not letting the rare beautiful day go to waste.

that's the thing about chicagoans. thought not a smiling bunch, they seem to keep their spirits above whatever deathly vibe lingers in the air of their city. they know how to party. they know how to enjoy a beautiful day like no one else does. and they know how to be okay with the gut they've gradually grown since college ended (but the lifestyle didn't). and apparently their p.i.t.a. airport.

i really fucking hate the airport. a montrosity bigger than my hometown, o'hare international airport is a shitshow of epic proportion. the lines are ridiculous (and i get the frequent flyer line), the length of the terminals is indescribable, and the amount of people (even on a saturday morning at 9am) is unbelievable. and don't even get me started on the predictability of delays... makes me miss my old LAX to SFO commute.

'cept that now i've got a lot more zip, which outweighs every single one of chicago's negatives. and who knows, maybe i'll someday find something romantic, or at least intriguing, about the uninviting windy city...

~k

how much is too much?

it happens sometimes. a high-speed-come-apart. i've probably spent the better part of the last year gearing up for this meltdown. i mean, let's recap.

in the past year, i have lived in three timezones, on two coasts, and in between two rivers in the middle of the country. my heart was shattered, i adopted my baby scarlet, i left my music box steps for an abode inside the beltway, and fell in love en route. after a six month relationship, i got engaged, got fired, moved to st. louis, and started a new job. and now, i'm less than two months shy of a wedding i never wanted in the first place (i'm a barefoot on the beach sans an audience kinda bride), and that's the straw that's breaking my back.

and it's not just all that. i mean, that's a fucking lot, but it's more that i live in this new city (and don't get me wrong, i love st. louis, a lot) where i don't have any tier-one friends around the corner, and i guess i just feel lonely. and maybe that's where i'm meant to be as i march toward this next phase in my life. maybe this is the right time for inner reflection and identity struggle. and it's hard. i'm sad sometimes, mad sometimes, bored sometimes. and i find myself longing (desperately sometimes) for the life i so desperately sought to abandon just a short year ago.

i find myself longing for my life on the music box steps, missing my flat, my deck, my view from schneider's door. i miss the ghetto birds overhead, that stretch of sunset boulevard below, pho cafe, ghetto sushi, brunch at dusty's, and naeun, edith, and colleen. i miss the scent of jasmine from everywhere and nowhere. i miss the park at the bottom of the steps and the rickety wooden stairs at the top. i miss 4100 and my favorite bartender, superman. i miss feeling like nothing mattered and that life was a fair breeze blowing at my whim. i miss not wanting more, not spending my days preparing for all the complicated life is becoming.

and as much as i miss all that simplicity, i also remember that i left because it didn't fit anymore. i remember that i wanted all the complicated my life is becoming. and i still do. i just wish it wasn't so hard, that it didn't hurt so much, that it wasn't so lonely. and i wish i would have known that this in-between stage would be so uncomfortable, because maybe then i wouldn't be so mad, so sad, and so often so out of sorts...

~k

the g.o.p. mine field

dear sarah palin -

please, please, please run for president.

sincerely,
~k

the sweet sweet taste of revenge

over the course of the past week or so, i've read articles and op-eds, witnessed posts on facebooks, and listened to the words of angst - from even dear friends - that some inner turbulance, something deeply troubling, keeps them from celebrating the death of bin laden. i've even felt judged by them, as though some moral superiority separates their reservations from my profligate thirst for blood. so for all of you seraphs standing on your celestial high ground, i've one question for you...

where the fuck were you on the september 11, 2001, when i woke up to the vision of planes crashing into the world trade center? when my heart shattered into a thousand bloody shards as every sense of safety, security, and innocent faith in my country were ripped from my bruised and battered soul? when a sadness i can't even begin to articulate settled into my life, where it remains today and everyday for the rest of my life?

i lost something that day i will never have back. a certain kind of innocence, a blind faith in the invincibility of my america. a belief that our freedom, so wondrous in its immeasurability and universality, was the road to the world's salvation. 'twas a beautiful naivety. so pure, and knowing how purely irrecoverable, i saved the newspaper printed in the wee hours of september 11, 2001, before it happened, so's to hang onto some memory of what life was like before tragedy struck our shores.

but it wasn't just that tragedy struck our shores. it's that someone so evil, someone so consumed by his own egotistical need to blame someone else for that which ailed him, that he lashed out at us, stripping the innocence of an entire people, whilst ripping the souls from more than 3,000 of my american brethren. and in celebratory retaliation for what? because my country has an army base in the land of his birth (a land that didn't even want his ass)? because his part of the world has so long been mired in unrelenting sectarian bickering that it's torn its borders and its people since the beginning of time? and how is that my fault? and how is attacking me and my country going to solve anything?

thing is, it's not. it never was. it's always been just an act of evil committed out of rage, out of impotence. osama bin laden couldn't do anything for his own people, so he took it out on us. and i fucking hate him for that. and i will never stop hating him for that. nor will i ever stop celebrating that america looked him right in the eye before blowing the fucker out of its socket. and i will never be sorry for relishing his death by my country's hand.

never. ever.

~k

peace out farm subsidies

i am and have always been opposed to federal subsidies to america's farmers. it's not that i dislike farmers or dislike food, it's that i am enraged by the effects of these subsidies on a variety of other government programs, and their resulting financial and health-related burdens.

let's start with corn. the u.s. government subsidizes about 50% of the corn produced in america, at a cost of about $10 billion per year (much of which is subsidizing ethanol, which in and of itself is a stupid and wasteful attempt to ween ourselves off of oil). of that amount, between $1.5-$3 billion per year is for full-stop corn. and what is it that we do with all that corn?

we make popcorn. we have corn on the cob, creamed corn, and corn mash. and we have high fructose corn syrup, also known as the fattening poison used to make soda, potato chips, unhealthy juices, and other high calorie, zero value foods that are priced so cheaply that they present themselves as the best options to those least able to afford to eat healthy. and why is this a problem?

because the consumption of that shit has resulted in societal obesity, an increase in type-2 diabetes, and an across-the-board increase in medical costs - much of which falls back on federal and state governments who are subsidizing medical care if not full-stop paying the medical bills via medicaid (i mean, it's a bigger problem with the poor, who are the ones benefitting from the low cost of junk food). which also means that i'm paying for it, not just with my tax dollars, but with higher insurance premiums and co-pays, and costlier services for my own health care.

which is, in a word (or three), complete fucking bullshit!

more simply put, costly government farm subsidies = even more costly government health costs = higher taxes and higher healthcare costs for you and me.

there are many other associated costs of these subsidies, ranging from trade barriers to encouraging inefficiencies in farming, to the destruction of fertile farmlands (these big ass farms destroy the lands with chemicals and overuse), and the devastation of small farmers (here and around the world) to the benefit of the corporate big-money farms. in the end, we lose, our government loses, poor countries lose, our health loses, and the market loses.

so let's take away the subsidies, put $10 billion per year back in the government coffers, and let the market right-size the value of america's farms and the fruits of its labors.

~k