12 November 2009

birthdays (mine most especially)

so, my birthday is my favorite day of the year. it's my very own holiday that i don't have to share with anyone! and every year my birthday wish is to celebrate in grand fashion with my dearest friends.

this year is especially important for a variety of reasons:
(1) i'm turning 35 and that seems like a big deal to me.
(2) this is my last birthday in los angeles.
and (3) i feel like, after so many years flailing about, i'm actually me, i'm comfortable in my own skin, i accept and even revel in my narcissism (heh!), and i really, genuinely like who i am and where i am and how vibrant and beautiful and fulfilled my life is.

so you see, there's lots to celebrate this year. and my closest friends, bless them, are pulling out all the stops to make this one as special for me as it feels to me.

except for one fucking douchebag of epic proportion, who clearly doesn't give two shits about how big of a deal this is for me (even though this person purportedly knows (or at least should) how important my birthday is for me in a general sense (though might not know that this one has any particularly special meaning)), because after spilling tales of my birthday plans (with a yay! thrown in for good measure), said selfish fucktard douchebag proceeded to ask me to babysit so's they could run off to vegas. even offered to pay for my dinner (um, my $20 vietnamese noodle dinner i'm probably not too far off base to assume my friends will probably pay for) if i'd watch the kid.

and then said douchebag had the fucking audacity to tell me what a selfish asshole i am because i said no. because i said, "uh fuck no". because i said, "are you fucking high? as if i'm going to forego painting the town red with my friends (some of which are arriving by airplane) so's i can stay home and watch over your responsibility so you can go to vegas ON MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!"

though i may've paraphrased a wee bit there, i'm sure y'all get the gist.

and my point follows my facebook post the other day about how all assholes need to exit my life immediately. i genuinely hope i never EVER! EVER! see or speak to this fucktard again. because really, life's too short to waste any time or energy on someone so wrapped up in themselves that they can't even recognize the extent of their own douchebaggery.

the end!

10 November 2009

pet peeves

i'm having one of those days, so to make myself feel better i'm going to make a short list of things that piss me off.

1) assholes.
2) pussy drivers.
3) people who claim to be writers, but then write in text (e.g. "i think u r nt cing the w8 of things." i mean - what in the hell does that even say? and how can anyone write that shit and call themselves a writer? i call them an idiot).
4) selfish fucktards.
5) people who send emails with the caps locked. I FEEL LIKE YOU ARE YELLING AT ME SO STOP!
6) people who don't r.s.v.p. i mean, really? are you really going to get a better offer than an evening with me? as if. or are you just too cool to commit?
7) commitmentphobes.
8) people whose middle name is cantaloupes.
9) joe lieberman.
10) the use of fear as a tactic to mobilize morons.
11) nonresponsiveness.
12) flakes.
13) jewish standard time.
14) the TSA.
15) the wall street journal's op-ed page.
16) the cincinnati northern kentucky airport.
17) the kuss.
18) blue dog democrats.
19) the local "news".
20) fb (and no, this is not short for facebook (i love facebook)).

though this list is by no means exhaustive, my mission is accomplished. i feel better.

the end.

09 November 2009

breaking stuff

when i walked away from my marriage a few years back, i left with only my clothes, books, a few things from the kitchen, and a coupla knick knacks.

tonight i broke one of my four plates. and all i could think about was how it's one less thing i'll have to pack...