18 December 2009

the bill

a-ha, my political commentating hiatus has ended (at least for the moment). the bill of which i write is none other than the famously partisan healthcare act. as well as the compromising and horse trading going on over on the floor of the senate. the bending over backward to reach some kind of consensus on the _reform_ being pushed like a two-ton brick by the white house. the one that, as far from perfect as it might be, is still the first step in a very long journey toward a single payer system (which is the only one that will satiate the far left).

what i don't understand is the outrage over the concessions being made. hello people, we can't even all get along and agree on everything within our little latte-drinking circles of liberal elitism. how can we expect that contentious bunch of incompetent fucktards on the hill to reach even a version of perfection, without letting them begin by taking the baby steps their feeble minds can handle?

yes, the bill stands without a public option. so fucking what. let's make healthcare affordable, force everyone to buy in (with subsidies when necessary), monetarily fine them if they skirt the system (like we do with car insurance), and see (let's just see) if the market can work itself out.

in theory, with more people putting money into the insurance pool, and fewer people demanding emergency services for a cold-gone-pneumonia, costs should go down. we're doing away with discrimination against pre-existing conditions, and putting some regulatory controls in place (1,000-pages worth) to help keep the costs down.

and if it doesn't work, we get to point our 'i told you so' fingers in the faces of the free-market zealots who fought for the freedom of unregulated corporate greed to chase after coffers filled with american tax dollars (and a whole lotta yuan). and we get a good bounce of momentum closer to single payer.

on top of the good dose of what's already annoying about our political process, we got front row seats to the senate taking it up the ass by big pharma. maybe that's a better place to direct some of the populist anti-senate rage. maybe it's time we call bullshit on big lobby sellouts, by finding new senators and congresspersons. we've got some elections coming up next year. demand change with the power of your vote, like you did when you voted for the guy who can't do it all by himself.

but remember that ours is a system set up to find compromise, and is the politics in which we must operate. it has always been this slow, painful, and methodical, and likely always will be. democracy is hard, and a constant work in progress. we will many times make mistakes, get it wrong the first time, or just plain ole fuck up.

for some perspective: in november of 1772, sam adams convened a group of 21 american rebels in boston, during which they agreed to reach out to neighboring communities to see if there was enough consensus to demand England grant the colonies the right to self-rule. Our Declaration of Independence wasn't signed until 4 july 1776. and it was a long and hard road, fraught with endless and circular debate, stress, compromises, slow communication, and bombs bursting in air.

this bill might not be perfect, but as confuscious mighta one day muttered, 'a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.' so let us embrace our first step in healthcare reform, and start working on the second instead of wasting all this energy throwing in the towel because we didn't get our way with the first.


a brief homage to love

since my return from the latest and greatest of my travels, i have encountered an outpouring of love heretofore unknown to me. phooey you say. and yes, i'd agree that mine is a charmed life, and i've hardly suffered any dearth of love, affection, friendship, and the inspiration born only in these joys. and i might be feeling a little more emotional than usual, as holiday cheer abounds and i sit atop these clouds of bliss i've found in the affections of one i met in paris.

but nevertheless, the love these days floweth over.

from the christmas cards, catch-up lunches, notes of inquiry about my grand adventure, to those of you who've trusted me enough to console your woes and solve your personal crises, i love you guys so much. like, words are far too inadequate to convey the depth of my affection. i am so blessed to have you and the beauty you guys bring into my life.

thank you. you are the reasons my life is so wonderful. and whilst some of you fret about the state of your lives when i leave this city of angels for colder pastures, please never forget that wherever in the world i may hang my hat you will always have a home.

i love you.


17 December 2009

insanity gone sane

i haven't made my bed in a week, haven't washed a single dish, unpacked my suitcase, or cleaned _anything_ since i returned from my travels. and i don't even care that there are piles strewn about my flat (of things. like books, cards, europe memorabilia, newspapers, clothes and jewelry). just lying around. there's dust on my furniture and dust bunnies in my corners. and i don't feel driven at all by uncontrollable compulsion to correct any of it.

can vacation cure o.c.d.?



today's my friday, even though it's thursday, because for the better part of this year (and my life), i've been working part-time. i shudder at the thought of returning to full time in a couple of weeks, because the already-too-short fuse on my temper has adjusted nicely to only having to deal with office fucktards 30 hours per week.

i mean, here i sit with one hour and 23 minutes before i race for the elevator bank, and my ridiculously rosy glow (of the 'about to spend christmas with that beautiful man i met in paris' sort) is burning out because of someone in my office who cannot help but shit in my cheerios at each given opportunity.

i don't like this person for no reason. i mean, i'm sure this person is competent, hard-working, and pleasant to most. i just don't like the energy i feel in their presence, and don't like how persnickety i perceive them to be, and would rather have nothing to do with anything that has to do with them.

sour sally? yeah, me right now. and so glad i'm almost _out_. i prefer my day when i'm glowing to the annoyance of all around me...


15 December 2009

the year to jump

i don't know that i know the exact moment it happened, or how even, but _it_ happened. that thing that's been holding me back from really moving on, whatever it was, whoever it was, finally let go of me.

i don't even know that it was a moment, exactly, but i think it must've happened whilst i was traveling alone in foreign lands, conquering the great unknowns while trying equally as hard as not trying. and while i know this is going to sound a little bit vague (because as open with the world as i am about things, there are those little pieces that belong only to me and my very nearest and dearest), i no longer feel connected to pieces of the past, to hopes i once held with a grip so tightly i couldn't see past wanting what wasn't to be.

it's gone. they're gone. the grips. the hopes. the wanting. the trying to force what cannot be. after spending all of 2009 trying unsuccessfully not to hope, want, force, i just woke up and didn't anymore. and i feel so zen. so free. so open to the possibilities, any possibility, anywhere.

so open that i'm no longer married to moving to washington, dc. so open that my next step may have nothing to do with my career. so open that you should all be warned that i might do something utterly crazy, unexpected, and so quickly you'll think it came completely out of the blue.

and it's because that cliff from which i've been readying myself to plunge is in sight. and when i get there, i'm not even going to close my eyes before i step to the ledge and just jump...


13 December 2009

home sweet home 2

omg! i am so happy to be here. i may not get out of bed for the rest of the weekend!