14 November 2010

my birthday

last year, my birthday was a really big deal and an even bigger production. before whisking myself off to europe for two weeks of celebrating me (i mean, it was a really big deal for me to get to that place where i was perfectly happy with me, accepting of where and how i got there, and knowing i was due for some big changes), 25 of my closest friends and i had a fabby pho dinner and too many drinks at my favorite neighborhood watering hole. (lotsa favorites last year)

leading up to that night, and through it all, i probably said a hundred times, "this is my last birthday in LA". i didn't know where i was going or how i was getting there, but i knew los angeles and i were ready to part ways after our tumultuous 13 years together.

and here i am. away from los angeles. all the way on the other side of the country, preparing myself for a birthday of a totally different sort. good stuff indeed. my staff is taking "our big kahuna, the fearless leader, the momma of all mommas... to celebrate her 25th birthday," i'm going to treat myself to my first shopping trip since moving to the district five months ago, and then i'm having dinner with my two closest local friends, and (bless her) my kbd-litttle who's coming into DC hot off the campaign trail to make it in time for my birthday.

but i'm still sad. it's just not the same. i live in a place i just can't call home, don't have the network, love, and friendship i had on the other coast, my love is in his time zone for his own birthday without me this week, and it just kinda symbolizes everything else about this new life i so badly wanted: cold and lonely. this year i think i'll be a little more careful about what i wish for before blowing out the candles in my birthday baklava...