one creepy christmas

i'm sure i've mentioned that i live smack dab in the center of urban mania. there are always people around, horns honking, sirens blaring, bottles breaking, and dogs barking. "war of the worlds" as kbd-l might quip. and i love it. it's so full of life, with diversity in people, restaurants, bars, and stores. laughter, yelling, and chatter at every turn. and in all that chaos is a genuine sense of security, a safety in numbers if you will.

much like the one i left, this city empties out at christmas time. every one heads back to whatever place they came from (cuz, no one is actually _from_ here). i said the same thing every holiday season in LA, as i basked in the beauty of an abandoned 80-degree-sunshiney city. but in LA, people were around, there were just a lot fewer of them. DC, on the other hand, is a flippin ghost town.

i've never seen anything like this. both christmas eve and last night, i was actually scared when out of doors after dark. the streets were barren land, i could count maybe one other person on any given block, and with everyone bundled up in eskimo-wear they all looked sketchy. the streets were essentially devoid of its typical sounds of life. no cars, people, screeching buses, busy stores. just quiet, empty, and intimidating. kinda like the day after war of the worlds.

made me all the happier to be spending the bulk of it indoors, catching up on the most classic of 80's movies whilst miss scarlet devoured the goodies she found in her stocking.

...until i went to bed, and spent the whole night dreaming jason voorhees was trying to kill me.

~k

hating days

i rarely write about the day job because i don't think it's terribly appropriate (even though i'll never mention where i work, who i work for, and will be super pissed if any of my readers spill those beans), and in the grand scheme of things, my day job doesn't play a giant role in how i define myself as a person and my satisfaction in life.

at least it didn't until recently. because recently, my day job has become the biggest, most frustrating, time-consuming, and annoying pain in my ass. it takes almost all of my time and energy, and for the first time in my life i'm working _way_ harder than i'm being paid (up till now, the pay has been pretty equal to the output).

and for the first time in my life as a working girl, i don't know how much longer i can keep up this pace... and i can't seem to catch a break no matter what i do.

fer instance, last night i went to bed at a very healthy (and unusual) 10:30. wowsers you say. wowsers i agree. and then about 1 am or so, the fire alarm went off in my building. now, i'm not talking about that little pussy smoke detector you've got hanging over the door in your bedroom. i'm talking about this kinda fire alarm (sans the british accent). over and over and over again. so when i'd rather've been soundly sleeping away the stress i'm under, i had to pack up my dog and walk down to the street, where we hung out with the other pissed off tenants and the fire department till we got the all clear to go back to bed. after which, the alarm continued to do that shit all night...

fast forward to today. despite that i'm busy as fuck with a million other things, and even though i'm exhausted after the night's shenanigans, i was able to complete a project i've been working on for weeks. and as soon as i scratched it off my to-do list and leaned back with a giant sigh of relief, an email came through with a big giant OOPS, not an oops that's my fault or anything, but one that will likely require a complete do over of the entire fucking thing. and if there's one thing that pisses me off more than anything else, it's a do-over.

thank goodness i keep whiskey in my desk drawer. and thank goodness i have a door i can close and an office window i can dream about jumping out of...

~k

t.g.i.f.

today's my friday, even though it's thursday, because for the better part of this year (and my life), i've been working part-time. i shudder at the thought of returning to full time in a couple of weeks, because the already-too-short fuse on my temper has adjusted nicely to only having to deal with office fucktards 30 hours per week.

i mean, here i sit with one hour and 23 minutes before i race for the elevator bank, and my ridiculously rosy glow (of the 'about to spend christmas with that beautiful man i met in paris' sort) is burning out because of someone in my office who cannot help but shit in my cheerios at each given opportunity.

i don't like this person for no reason. i mean, i'm sure this person is competent, hard-working, and pleasant to most. i just don't like the energy i feel in their presence, and don't like how persnickety i perceive them to be, and would rather have nothing to do with anything that has to do with them.

sour sally? yeah, me right now. and so glad i'm almost _out_. i prefer my day when i'm glowing to the annoyance of all around me...

~k

pet peeves

i'm having one of those days, so to make myself feel better i'm going to make a short list of things that piss me off.

1) assholes.
2) pussy drivers.
3) people who claim to be writers, but then write in text (e.g. "i think u r nt cing the w8 of things." i mean - what in the hell does that even say? and how can anyone write that shit and call themselves a writer? i call them an idiot).
4) selfish fucktards.
5) people who send emails with the caps locked. I FEEL LIKE YOU ARE YELLING AT ME SO STOP!
6) people who don't r.s.v.p. i mean, really? are you really going to get a better offer than an evening with me? as if. or are you just too cool to commit?
7) commitmentphobes.
8) people whose middle name is cantaloupes.
9) joe lieberman.
10) the use of fear as a tactic to mobilize morons.
11) nonresponsiveness.
12) flakes.
13) jewish standard time.
14) the TSA.
15) the wall street journal's op-ed page.
16) the cincinnati northern kentucky airport.
17) the kuss.
18) blue dog democrats.
19) the local "news".
20) fb (and no, this is not short for facebook (i love facebook)).

though this list is by no means exhaustive, my mission is accomplished. i feel better.

the end.
~k

the woe of a silent muse

i feel like death warmed over (er, too much wine last night hung over), i have to write an article for an environmental blog i help author, and my muse is napping. crap!

~k

civic responsibility

i got served. and today i embarked upon the longest, most boring day ever! all whilst getting booted from a jury.

i once sat on a jury (and we'll leave that story to another post), and figured (rightly so) that it'd be my last. no one wants an attorney on their jury panel. everyone just assumes we know what's going on and what's right, because we got schooled in the laws (fer reals, people think this).

but today was my first time approaching this process with one eye on my blog. sadly, such fore-thinking turned out to be bunk, because all i really noticed was how gangly my fingernails are, the ear hair in the dude sitting next to me, the horrendous breath emanating from the creature sitting in front of me, a plaintiff's lawyer about as interesting and likable as a toad, in a room full of people who couldn't wait to tell the judge why they hate cops.

i had spent the morning planning to spend my lunch break with harry truman, but the other lawyer on my voir dire panel sought me out. he said he wanted to learn about what it is i do while recovering from the practice of law. except that he never asked me a single thing, but talked nonstop about being a litigator, how much his law firm has changed in the past 37 years, and how apparently he isn't allowed to criticize the president's healthcare plan without being called a racist.

under my breath, while my quiet voice called him a racist, i hoped (going so far as praying even) that i never have to depend on a group of my "peers", pulled from such a pool, to make a decision about the fate of my life.

~k

fml

if you haven't been to this site, http://www.fmylife.com/, you really should visit.

mine today.

my brain thinks i'm on the east coast, so it woke me up at 6am. my body went to bed four hours earlier (it took me a while to wind down after a fantabulous two-week tour de america). all i wanted to jump start my first day back at the fun factory was a grande iced coffee in a venti cup. and the coffee machine at starbucks was broken.

fml.

~k

explaining the scratches

so i was worried how those scratches on my face would treat me this week. though it's certainly come up many times, it has gotten me laughs (i mean, me falling down the stairs is a funny story if told well), it got me a date (well, it got me asked on a date i'll never go on), and it thankfully didn't show up in my pictures with san francisco's good mayor.

~k