a controlled camp

so, a coupla girlfriends and i are in the early stages (may be appropriate to use 'were' here) of planning a camping trip to the grand canyon for some weekend in april.

i was charged with the planning piece because, well, duh. and what i've learned in coordinating the details of this outing is that this is the one trip i should never be allowed to plan. if i'd just not really had any expectations (see dread), i would've gotten there, and felt my competitive drive set into gear, pushing me to survive and even have fun. and sure, i'd've bitched about everything, but i woulda done it in a cute, snarky, smart way that woulda made people laugh whilst promising themselves and each other they'd never again bring me along to camp.

but then, i found the the campsite page and i read about how cold it is in april, how there's no electricity, how "sleeping pads" are encouraged because the ground is sharp and hard. i mean, wtf is a sleeping pad? (oh, and that is definitely a rhetorical question, so please don't answer it). and did you notice that bit about "sharp and hard"?

and then last night. when undo button told me, in this sweet, concerned tone that, "people who don't enjoy camping are usually people who have to be in control," i knew i wasn't going camping.

and i'm equal parts relieved and bummed.

~k

announcements of the frightening sort

i want to build a nation. it's my real goal as i venture into the next phase of my life. and i assumed that i'd really need to work at the white house so's i could make the connections i'd need to be able to garner the support to get me into a nation building role in a fairly scary place on the other side of the world (cuz presumably, NGO's and the state department don't want to hire folks who've never worked in a hostile environment (though a career inside law firms might qualify as hostile in some circles)).

well, as it turns out, the british government might have a different philosophy. i found out yesterday that my application has survived the first 'sift' and that i'm being recommended for further consideration in a 'strategic communications' role in a post-conflict zone of a developing country.

so we are all clear here. i _want_ this job! it's the job i thought i'd first have to work in washington to get. and the adrenalin junkie in me can't think of anything more thrilling than staying calm and collected in a hostile environment, while the world changer in me can't think of anything more rewarding than helping a nation build itself out of the ashes of its waning conflict.

but the friend, daughter, and sister in me worries that those who love me won't be able to understand why i need to do this, or that the value to me in making a difference in the world outweighs any risks that i may lose my life in the process...

~k