24 January 2009

22 January 2009


on a bright note, "i got 99 problems, but a bush ain't one..." (jay-z).

on a not so bright note, i'm home. that's not how this day was supposed to end. that's not how this trip was supposed to end. that's not how this journey was supposed to end. maybe i'm just exhausted, perhaps have a wee bit of jet lag, or maybe (gear up for the debbie downer moment) i feel like i left behind the greatest loves of my life when i bid a farely well to dc this morning, and they've gone and strewn themselves all back to the far corners from whence they came.

in the past nine days, i reconnected with team indiana (shit, they even put me on their news!), team california, many randoms from every tread in the trail, and all the new friends and old who managed to be in dc this past week. and as much as i love all of them (some more than others), it was that _the_ journey never felt over for me till i stepped out of lax tonight. and to be fair, maybe it's time to end this one, so i can actually set about beginning another. and maybe i put this off for as long as i could, and maybe i still don't feel ready to let go of what has been the greatest year of my life (a year that started with pneumonia and ended with our new president opening for jay-z).

maybe it's been fun peering through doors, feeling out opportunities, and not committing to anything or anyone, while riding out the waves of the post-election storm. maybe it's been fun running around the country on a mission to save the world, without stopping to appreciate the realities of life. and maybe it's time to think about trying to be a fucking grown up for a second, figure out some shit, maybe even stop fooling myself into thinking that i've been making decisions, when all i've been doing is flinging myself into an endless array of projects that lead to more projects, so's i could keep on avoiding the bigger questions of my life.

and maybe it's okay to just keep plugging along. maybe it's okay that i don't have a plan, can't seem to make one, or keep my mind stuck to anything that seems cool today, not so cool tomorrow. maybe i'm just an avid overthinker, incessantly mired in bullshit that doesn't matter, so much so that i find solace in missing the forest for the trees. and wasn't it my resolution this year to not make plans, to just roll with the punches, to just see what happens?

or maybe i am doing it, and just overthinking the details along the way because i'm feeling sad in ways i never really expected to feel today, missing a city i've only just begun to get to know, terribly missing people who have only just made their way into my life? or just looking for excuses as to why i feel more sadness than joy in returning to a home i love after being away for nine days?

or maybe it's just another day at the helm for a full-of-crap blogger...


20 January 2009

making history today

today was it, the big day we've all been waiting for, the day where the guy that says, "america is a place where all things are possible" was sworn in as president. he summed up america's greatness in one little statement, "why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath".

anyone who reads my blog knows what this past year has been for me, knows how much shame i felt when labeling myself american, as i sat idly by and watched my leaders trample the constitution in the name of security, hand over uncontested contracts in iraq and afghanistan to their rich buddies, and allowed our economy to flush itself down the toilet by trusting in the greediest of "experts", along many other shameful acts.

but today, i walked 50 blocks in the haze of an icy chill. i stood in the midst of 1.4 million agents of change, unable to feel my feet, and stretching my neck for a glimpse of our new president. i stood crying on the national mall, as my new leader, equal parts somber and hopeful, reminded all of us why it is that this country is so great, why it is that america has been able to grow, prosper, and survive in spite of its many challenges and adversities, and why we will prevail. it's because we are americans. we are strong, we are diverse, and we hold dear the greatest ideals of freedom, democracy, and the pursuit of happinesss.

he reminded us that we will defeat those who seek to harm us, but we will first reach out to all the world to help spread the notion of peace, freedom and prosperity for all. that we can only achieve world peace by living up to and practicing the freedom we preach. we can no longer ignore the laws we seek to spread to the rest of the world just because we think we're so virtuous, we don't even need to practice what we preach. we must lead by example, we must be as virtuous as we claim to be, and we must recognize that america can only be the greatest nation on earth when we recognize that we are no better than anyone else.

and he reminded us that it's only by working together, accepting personal and national responsiblity, that we can and will overcome the great challenges we face today, tomorrow, and in the coming years and months.

in his own words,

"We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions – that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking america..."

and i echo the words obama spoke in the moments following his loss in the new hampshire primary as a reminder to all of us that, in america, anything is possible:

"In the unlikely story that is America, there is nothing false about hope.

For when we have faced down impossible odds, when we've been told we're not ready or that we shouldn't try or that we can't, generations of Americans have responded with a simple creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can. Yes, we can. Yes, we can.

It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation: Yes, we can.

It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail towards freedom through the darkest of nights: Yes, we can.

It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness: Yes, we can.

It was the call of workers who organized, women who reached for the ballot, a president who chose the moon as our new frontier, and a king who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the promised land: Yes, we can, to justice and equality.

Yes, we can, to opportunity and prosperity. Yes, we can heal this nation. Yes, we can repair this world. Yes, we can.

...there is something happening in America, that we are not as divided as our politics suggest, that we are one people, we are one nation. And, together, we will begin the next great chapter in the American story, with three words that will ring from coast to coast, from sea to shining sea: Yes, we can."

and yes, america, we can. if we stand together, work together, and commit ourselves to a better future for ourselves, our neighbors, and our country, YES WE CAN!

all of this being said, i don't know that yes i can get off my exhausted, aching ass, and head over to the youth ball (yeah, i am in possession of the hottest tickets in town) to continue the great celebration. but for me, it was about today. i was there, in the shadow of the capital, soaking up the energy, the cold, and the message of the greatness of america. i was there, and i believe in the deepest depths of my hopeful soul that america will prevail because americans are who we are...


19 January 2009


tomorrow may be history, but today i'm history. dc kicked my ass today, and it makes me love her even more!

my latest playlist and i hit the streets at 1:00, it's now a wee past 11, i've been on my feet for ten hours, and every muscle, bone, and tendon in my body hurts with exhaustion and cold. but we saw the willard hotel, the washington monument (from every angle), the lincoln memorial, and the korean, vietnam, and wwii memorials. we also saw team indiana, and miles and miles and miles of dc pavement, madness, and awesomeness.

tomorrow, we see history in the making as obama takes the oath, the douche leaves the capital with his tail between his legs, and we take our country back.

one year ago, i started this blog, started the campaign journey, and became a doer. no longer a talker, no longer a full-of-crap nobody, i take my country back tomorrow. and i won't let you down. i won't let me down. i won't let america or the world down.

tomorrow begins the most difficult, scary, and uncertain part of this great journey, but i'm ready, and ready to kick some ass!

but tonight, i'm beat and sleeping, and dreaming of the dawn of a new country that will break tomorrow...


changing reflections

when i was here last month, i walked out of dca, and breathed in the loneliest air i've ever let into my lungs. it worked its way into my bloodstream, and stayed with me the whole time i was here. despite the grand time i did have, the unwelcoming nature of this city left me with a slightly sour taste and a fairly detached connection to my change.gov chance. but this time is different...

this time it feels like my kinda town. it feels like the hollywood of politics, the center of power, and the agent-city of change. sure, there's a certain excitement in the air that wasn't here six weeks ago, but it's the kind of feeling that's here for at least four years, and as my network expands to include so many progressives, policy wonks, and obama changelings, i sorta feel the draw.

i s'pose it's easy to dream when i'm hanging with such amazing people, walking around in a haze of history-in-the-making, and bumping into folks i call friends back home on the left coast. and i know how it's going to feel when i get back to the left coast late this week, it's sunny sans snow, and i return to the music box steps.

but for now, it's easy to see that it wouldn't be hard to build a new life, here in the center of the america and world that wakes tomorrow...