04 May 2010

melpomene musing

sometimes i want to blog about things i don't want paris guy to know, but i hold back or i don't publish because i know he's here. and whilst i think if i asked him not to be here, he would respect my wishes and stay away. but i don't want him to leave. and even though my ego doesn't want him to know how much i miss him, the rest of me kind of doesn't give a shit anymore.

i mean, this is my place to let it all out. the place for my rants and raves, my hopes and dreams, my dog, my heartbreak. my special place for narcissistic expression. so...

in addition to being my pal, i thought scarlet would distract me from that woe, but she makes me miss him more. paris guy just celebrated his first anniversary with his first dog, so he totally gets what i'm going through, and he gets me. and knowing him as i do, i'd bet he'd probly be having as much fun getting to know scarlet as i am. no matter the distance.

i think about that a lot. along with how much better the world seemed when he was lighting up my every day. and about trying to be friends.

but i'm me, and i know i can't.


03 May 2010

my girl

scarlet and i survived our first weekend together, and we're coming up on the end of our first regular ole day. there have certainly been some bumps here and there, and i'll bet she was not pleased to spend the day alone today, but getting to know her is, like, wow.

she's spunky. and so sweet, curious, cuddly, and playful. sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night to her growling at her toys, and it is the cutest thing ever. i believe insta-smile is the word. when she sleeps, she curls into a little ball, and if i ease in to kiss that preciousness, a little baby growl rolls from the back of her throat. and it's so freakin' adorable, i can't help but lean in a few times. first thing in the morning, and when i come home from work, the welcome is truly delightful.

the best part is that my patience with her has genuinely surprised me. i mean, i was pretty sure i was ready, and i've no doubt i'll lose it at some point, but i've yet to get mad at her (she cannot say the same about me). even though her yipping bugs. she yips at every person who walks up or down the stairs, about half the dogs we see, and every single boy (there was unanimous consensus at the bbq saturday night that she does not like boys). then there's the bit i don't know the worser, her whining or me having to ignore her whining. oh. and she smells. like a dog.

but she is so goddamn cute hopping up and down the music box steps, figuring stuff out, and telling me how it is, that anything and everything else is forgiven and forgotten.