24 September 2008

Dear Iraqi Friends (dubya's version)

so, tom friedman wrote a very enlightened letter on behalf of our dipshit in chief. it was so well written, and so considerate of the american people and the world at large, no rational person could ever really think it might actually've been written by dubya (see the original here, http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/24/opinion/24friedman.html?ref=opinion), so i'm dumbing it down to make the concept a bit more believable (and i'll even use standard capitalization where appropriate)...

From: George W. Bush

To: President Jalal Talabani of Iraq, Prime Minister Nuri Kamal al-Maliki, Speaker Mahmoud al-Mashadani

Dear Sirs, I'm writing you because America just ran out of money and you have a bunch in our banks. And about that money in our banks, you might want to make a big withdrawel because our banks aren't doing so good. That's why I'm writing.

Lots of folks here in America are upset right now because they are losing their jobs and their money in the banks and the stock markets isn't doing so hot. They are really mad and they won't let my government have the funds to bail out the colapsing mortgage lenders. they don't get that they shouldn't have taken out loans they could not afford, but that doesn't matter anyway because they think I'm sending all of America's money to help you guys figure out who is in charge of what in Iraq.

They say they understand how important it is to have a democratic government in the middle east, but they can't wait anymore for you guys to stop fighting on our dime. and they really need for you to pony up, make some decisions, and get your government working and oust them terrorists. so, i'm real sorry because my friends in the oil business have been real pleased with our relationships with you all, but the american people aren't going to let me write a big check to my wall street friends, if i don't make you start spending your own money and stop spending our money.

so i will keep hoping the best for you, but can't give you no more money from America. Good luck and God speed.


23 September 2008

it's been a while, and the economy has since hit the shitter

si haven't written in over a week, because there's been so much to absorb, things i don't really understand and have been trying to better get my arms around. namely, the economy.

i read the ny times, and get the bulk of my information, news, and opinions from the best paper in the country, which also happens to lean liberal (yay!). i've been reading the business section, in addition to my usuals (i.e. the opinion page and the main section) because i'm treading in political waters i don't really get, and i want to. i need to. i have a 401k, i have an ira, i have a bank account with an ever-devolving washington mutual, as well as a savings account and money market account elsewhere. i have money in a market that is tanking more and more every day. and i'm being led by a government of dipshits who decry socialism when it involves taking money from the rich to give to the poor, but don't think twice when socialist policies take money from the poor to give to the rich. and that's the way i see this new bailout plan proposed by dubya and his cronies...

if i'm wrong, tell me. if i'm way off base, tell me. if you can point me in a direction that can show that i'm misunderstanding hank paulson's plan and that backward socialism isn't what's in play here, please do.

if our government wants to involve itself in this economic crises and do something to ward off a pending depression (do a history lesson and you'll quickly discover that the gilded age depressed when banks collapsed after risky investments in railroads and the great depression when banks collapsed after risky investments in farms and you'll see that we're in a similar and predictable predicament now via risky real estate investments), i support the endeavor. however, i would be much more supportive of a plan that gives that $700,000,000,000 (did i get those zero's right?) to the borrowers who are now losing their homes, with a trickle up effect, than the lenders who set up this risky scam and already have millions in the bank while begging taxpayers for golden parachutes out of this debacle they created.

$700 billion bucks is what richie rich is asking for to bail out his golden buddies on wall street, but how exactly is that meant to trickle down to wall street? are poory mcpoorstein and average mcjoe going to benefit from richie rich's bail-out? i dunno, can't see how. maybe i'll benefit a bit while my 401k and ira stabilize, but with my 6-figure salary and job security, i'm not worried about my investments. if they tank, i'll cry. i'll feel shitty about the money i lost in the market, but i'll still wake up tomorrow with a job, a roof over my head, and an opportunity to restock those lost funds.

and i don't have that much. i'm not getting a $40 million severance package for tanking a company and costing 20,000 jobs (see carly fiorina, a big mccain economic advisor till her gaffe (see freudian slip) that mccain and palin are both economic dummies with no business running a company (and this coming from one of the greatest failures in corporate american leadership)). i just don't understand how and why anyone can argue that this bailout is a good idea. it essentially gives a boat-load of MY MONEY (and yours, my fellow tax-payers) to the very people who created this mess, while letting the homeowners who've already suffered the loss of their homes, jobs, hope, and money, lose everything else, without any regulation or oversight to make sure good ole hank doesn't crown himself king of the free world. how is that going to help america? how is that going to help anyone who doesn't already have pockets lined with gold?

how is that going to keep henry paulson, jr. from becoming king of the once great democracy known as America?