14 May 2010


i firmly believe it is our hopes and dreams that make us who we are, and not just in the abstract, but in the choices we make and the actions we take every day in furtherance of our own personal ideal. i am a dreamer. i dream big and hope even bigger. i jump off crazy steep cliffs, and whilst i smack face first into a stone wall as often as i land on both feet, i never stop believing in my dreams. i never lose hope.

i've long known los angeles and i would be parting ways this year. i mean, how many times have i said that 2010 is my year to bounce? i've mulled over a hundred different scenarios, have made choices and taken steps in a number of directions. impatiently. impulsively. quixotically. unregrettably.

i've been collecting boxes all year, scoping out apartments in this city and that, discarding from my life those things and people that don't belong, preparing my mind, body, and spirit for my new beginning. inviting miss scarlet into my life and adjusting to how much she's changed my life, and how much better life is with her.

and while it's certainly possible that i'm no more ready now than i've thought myself all year, something really does feel different this time. it feels like the stars are lining up just right for the exit i've long sought. and even if the stars aren't quite lined up, even if i come back next week disillusioned after my interview, i'll keep on hoping and dreaming for the time it will all be right...


11 May 2010

a week without a word

i can't believe it's been an entire week since i put anything up here. it's in part because i'm in the eye of a hurrichange and i don't want to jinx my prospects (looking better by the day!), and in part because i'm so fascinated by scarlet, i really just want to sit and watch her when i'm not playing with her, walking her, or pulling shit out of her mouth.

life is good!