foreign service paused

i didn't make it to the next stage. and while on the one hand, that shit stings. on the other, i'm relieved. i mean, honestly, don't i have enough going on?

in the grand scheme of things, i was dreading the thought of having to prepare for the most insane interview of my life whilst starting a new life and a new job in a new city. i can start the foreign service rigamarole over again in a year, by taking the written test again. my plan now is to try again next march. but i'm not opposed to something else coming along and steering me elsewhere.

right now, i want to focus on starting a new life. i want to revel in all its joys and woes. i want to be open to whatever happens or doesn't happen. and going into a new life with no written plan means i surrender to what will be.

~k

en route to a new life

stop one, chicago. zip is getting married on sunday and i am her bitch until i continue the eastward journey on monday.

i'm no friend to chicago. i mean, zip lives here, the end. and it does house the art institute, the architecture boat tour, that super fun photo op at the top of the hancock building, and wrigley field (for the record, just because i love wrigley field does not mean i don't really _hate_ the cubs). and i'm definitely a 10 here.

but. it's just kinda ewww. the weather sucks, it's in the middle of nowhere (even though it's also the road to everywhere), 95% of the people my age never left their fraternities and sororities (and fer reals look exactly the same as they did then with a 25-pound add), and that beautifully efficient but rusted steel montrosity hanging from the skyline just make chicago feel ewww.

it's kinda nice to visit a city i don't dig. makes the better ones seem that much more so (e.g. LA, DC, paris). and even better to spend her most special weekend with my bff zip.

~k

saying goodbye

i've lived the best three years of my life on the music box steps, which makes it especially hard to say goodbye. and especially easy too.

they all come and go in waves: nostalgia, daring, sadness, excitement, fear, lady luck. and in the center of all the madness, there is a perfect calmness. because it's time. and i'm ready.

all roads i want to travel depart from washington. i'm pretty sure we all know this. and it would seem that i'm finally ready to go pick one out. if only there weren't that pesky goodbye thing involved.

there are so many things i love about LA, so many smells, tastes, sights, and places simply delight my life. and staying here forever, indulging in what makes this place so beautiful, wouldn't suck. at all. but it wouldn't be a challenge either. and i like adventure way too much to settle into the [not unappealing] facile.

so brushing away my tears, off i go.

~k