18 August 2010

rainy days

when i lived in southern california, a rainy day meant a day indoors. i didn't go to work, didn't run errands, canceled plans, and pretty much canceled life till the storm passed. here, that would be impossible because it rains too much to hold up a 'hold' sign.

my morning started trying to convince miss scarlet to go potty while the rain drenched her fair coat. i failed. but i did make it into the office, to a lunch meeting down the street (with a couple of bad asses from georgetown, i might add), back home to give the rain pee another whirl, and then a hop into the car to maryland for dinner.

sidebar: the car thing is probably worthy of its own blog post, as tonight was only the third time i've seen the mini since moving to the district. i pay $200 per month for the privilege of parking in the city, a cost offset by the fact that my insurance has shrunk in half and i've still got 3/4 of the same tank of gas i drove into town with nearly two months ago. i just have to remind myself to drive her around the block at least once a week so she'll start on command (tonight took a few attempts to turn over the engine).

the point here being that the rain doesn't halt life as it did not all that long ago. it doesn't even really suck. no matter how i mighta felt about the rain back in so cal, here it's just part of my life. it's something that makes getting out of bed harder, causes me to miss my boyfriend even more than usual by per its particularly romantic nature, and makes me feel like a bad ass for not letting it stop me from kicking the day's ass.


16 August 2010

afraid of my space

though i've been here several times the past week, i've written not a word. it's not that i haven't had anything to say, it's that i'm afraid to say it. afraid to be myself in my own space, observe what i will, say what i will, live as i will. as though it's my responsibility to live up to other people's ideal of me.

how fucked up is that?

like seriously, how could i let someone else's assholio comments get to me so deeply? i pride myself on not giving too much of a shit about what other people think, and here i am cowering from my own blog. in spite of the outpouring of support from those of you who love me just as i am, instead of how you think i should be, i am still here in stumble mode.

maybe getting it out here will get it out of my head, and knock whatever's standing in my way right off its post. or at least i can hope...