it defies mind

all day i have wept.  in waves of course, but i have wept all day.  i cannot even begin to wrap my mind around what the parents are going through right now...just 10 days shy of every kid's favorite eve of the year.

or those other kids. that entire community.  everyone gearing up to celebrate the holidays in grand fashion...a spirit stopped dead in its tracks by an inconceivable act of terror.  how can this be?

all day i have searched to try to understand how this can be.  in the deepest depths of my soul, there exists not even an inkling of a place dark enough to begin to comprehend the depravity that one must possess to walk into an elementary school with an arsenal of semi-automatic weapons and open indiscriminate fire on the most innocent of us.  those wide-eyed, trusting, and beautiful little babies...20 of which are no longer with us, and all the rest that have to live life after today.  how can this be?

i can't remember my heart ever more broken for another...for so many others.  i weep still, and i think part of me always will.

~k

onward to jeans

bebe came 12 weeks ago today.  in the past 12 weeks, i've lost 40-ish pounds (the last 3-5 are hanging on for dear life as the scale moves to and from my goal).  i even started doing measurements in addition to the weight checks because, now that i'm working out again, i have to consider that muscle weighs more than fat.  i'm out of maternity clothes and back into my regular clothes--albeit a bit more snuggly.

so...tomorrow will be my first attempt at jeans.  i'm super scared.  i'm not going to even attempt my skinny jeans (i initially gave myself till my birthday (in november) for the skinny jeans, but based on the rampant speed at which the preggo pounds have melted, i've backed the skinny jeans goal to labor day), but i am going to try for a pair of my favorite jeans from the good ole days...

wish me luck! 

~k

getting back to me

it has occurred to me, more often than not, that i really should be blogging about this whole mommy thing.  on top of that, there's an election coming up.  i should have lots to say about a lot.  and i will. for now, i'm just here to dip my foot back in the water...

today has been a break day.  bella is at baby school, and i've been trying to get caught up on a few things.  my plan was to spend the morning in the pool--ignoring all the things i need to get caught up on, but construction dudes were working in the basement and there's no way this fat ass is going anywhere near mixed company in a bathing suit.

so i did some catching up (bills, emails, returning calls sortsa stuff), went to the dentist (my least favorite place on the planet), read the rantings of some ugly, angry lady who hates disney princesses, american girl, and the color pink.  and because my baby isn't here, i took a long shower and _washed my hair_.

heaven has a whole new look these days.  in more ways than one...

more to come.

~k