i still can't believe the bitch left me in texas!

okay, i still cannot believe i was left in texas. i mean, really, who fucking does that?

i have spent the last several days working my ass off, getting almost no sleep, campaigning, running errands, knocking on doors, making phone calls, helping to make things happen. the only difficulty in all of this has been dealing with my cohort - who was rude, adverse,
unfocused, and a giant pain in my ass. and for those of you who know me, you know i do not fare well in situations where i am being attacked, especially when the attack is unprovoked and unjust.

and the bitch left me 1600 miles away from home without the simple courtesy of notice, even by way of a written letter. not that it would have made me feel much better to wake up to some farewell letter, but to say nothing at all, to just leave me wondering if she was off for a snack and would shortly return to begin our long journey home... who fucking does that?

now that it has worked itself out (a most generous and kind local photographer gave me a plane ticket to get home tomorrow), i am trying to look back to see where, when, and how she decided she'd just fuck me over without even a whisper of a hint. and i can't figure it out. yes, we have had our disagreements, and yes, there has been some tension, but again i ask myself (and you), what the fuck?

one of our last heated disagreements, in the wake of my very painful coffee burn (all down my chest which has been red and irritated since sunday), resulted in my pointed dictum that though i felt incredibly sorry for her husband for the abuse she showers atop his weary soul (remember, folks, i spent several days in a car with a woman who yelled at her husband, berated him, and spoke down to him as though he were some petulant child - over the phone in front of a complete stranger. god only knows what she says to him and how she treats him when no one else is around.), i was not going to act as his stand-in just because she needed to treat someone like shit.

she went on to tell me that the reason we don't get along is because we're too much alike. i am the first to admit that my list of faults is by no means short and i would never try to debunk any claim that i have a seriously short fuse on my temper and don't always use the best of judgment in situations where we'd all be better off if i could better bite my tongue, but i am nothing like her. she is disrespectful, grandiose, and so incredibly jealous of me that she couldn't stand the thought of having to spend three more days with me...

the past couple of days, i made a concerted effort to put some distance between us. i found my own way to and from headquarters, managed to get assigned to tasks that did not involve her, and only saw her in passing. i was cordial (friendly even), rarely spoke ill of her except to mention laughingly that she was a handful (even though she was clearly annoying others who asked me how awful it was to work with her), and i just let her be - even when she was chiding me unnecessarily. and then last night...

i was at headquarters till about midnight (she went "home" before i even returned from precinct 331's caucus), after which a large group of us went out for drinks. we were having a blast, drinking, laughing, taking pictures, she randomly showed up at the bar, all made up, looking sassy and ready to tear up the town. i complimented her immediately and told her to come join the party. then i turned back to the lively conversation i was in and never saw her again.

ya know, i always got the impression that she was envious when i was surrounded by people, laughing and having a good time. and when she tried to immerse herself, we all adjusted and brought her in, but it was different, more awkward, the energy changed, she tried to make it about her (and dammit, i want it to be about me - just kidding). i can't help it that i'm outoing, people like me, and i like people. people and me, we're a good match. people and my cohort, not a good match and she'd be the first to tell you as much.

the good news is that i never have to see her again, that i don't have to sit in her company, in a car, for three days, traveling 1600 miles across america's southwest. the good news is that i'm so much better off for being left behind. i know this. i feel it. i agree with it every single time someone says it. but i still can't get my arms around what kind of a person would leave their passenger stranded 1600 miles away from home without even a note. i'll say it again, who fucking does that?

(this blog cross posted at daily kos http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/3/6/01941/31047/644/470229)