14 May 2008

in blah land

so i'm not writing as much these days, post-election. it's not that i'm not paying attention or don't have a million things to say about the genius behind the timing of edwards' endorsement
today. or the argument i had yesterday with my bff about barack wearing a flag pin (or my moral superiority because i am fighting for a new kind of politics... he he). or that my clutch went out and my spoiled ass car has been sitting in st. louis while i've been stranded for three days. or that i'm homesick, i miss my evansville friends, the campaign kids, my bff, my apartment, home...

maybe it's just too much or perhaps i'm too melancholy. or it could be that i'm just fumbling around inside my own head so deeply that i can't really share what i'm feeling. that i'm a bit lonely, even with my family around (perhaps even more so), that my heart hurts really badly because of things i can't get into here, or that even though only just a few days ago i screamed from the highest mountain and to anyone that would listen that i would NEVER work on another campaign again, while now feeling guilty that i have to go back and be a grown up with a real job, even though the campaign wants me to go to oregon and i kinda want to stick it out in south dakota before going back to california. oh the woes of the campaign trail...

on the one hand, campaigning blows nine kinds of donkey ballsacks. but on the other, it's full of wonderful like-minded people who are also involved because it's the way toward a better america. it also seems that i'm a community organizer at heart (which also means i'm great at my day job of recruiting and developing america's top legal minds). i'm really good at earning early trust and starting the process of building relationships (i mean, everyone likes me till they get to know me). there is the thought that the campaign trail is kinda perfect for someone like me b/c it's about building intense relationships quickly and then walking away after the climax, but before tough times can weigh in. on the other hand, that may be where i suffer the greatest loss.

i suppose that part gets easier with time. it must be that field organizers quickly learn how to keep enough of a distance to not suffer greatly when closely forged relationships are left behind (this was my first time as an organizer and even though i was a mere deputy, i did the same work, built the same bridges, kept the same people coming back every day). but even for the most seasoned mover and shaker, there comes a person (or even a group of people) that makes it hard to leave one town or the next. or maybe such isn't the case for some. i know i've met people on the campaign trail that will never venture far from my thoughts. in texas, there were a few, in california a few fewer, but in evansville, there were many. and i miss you guys a lot. a lot more than i want to admit to you or myself. in you guys, i have seen the best in people, the most wonder, the most dedication, the most love, and the most humanity.

awww, the campaign trail...

1 comment:

  1. Did you spend more time in Eville, or are we just particularly awesome?

    C'mon: tell me again how special we are!


    Hope you're feeling less melancholy.