all this thinking time has probably been more than good for me. until this short reprieve from the world of insanity from whence i've longed for rescue, i've been so wrapped up in the simultaneous whirlwinds of starting a new job and starting over within the obama campaign in los angeles (and flailing about trying to figure out where i fit into the grand scheme), that i haven't really been able to give much thought to me, where i am in my personal life, and where i want to be after november 5th.
sadly, the first thing that has to be on my mind is my age. i'm going to be 34 in a few months, i'm as single as a girl can get, and i want to have a family. for a girl with no real romantic prospects, that's a humdinger of a realization (and one that would've sent me to the kleenex box if my tear ducts wouldn't've stopped working of late). add to that tiddy the fact that i'm working 80-100 hours a week, half of that to the day job, the other half to my volunteer efforts, and it starts getting a little bit more than scary that my suitable match may be out there somewhere and i might not even notice him. even more complicated than that is the fact that a suitable match for me is a 1 in a million guy, and i'd rather be alone than settle for #2 or #3...
you see, i don't want to spend my life in a 9-5 corporate gig, working for "the man". i want a life of adventure and extraordinary non-conformism (did i just make up that word?). i want a life partner who wants to _share_ his life with me and be a father to our children. i don't want a burden or a ginormous pain in my ass. i don't want to be with someone who tells me what i want to hear because he thinks i'm the closest thing to the right girl he's ever met. i want to share my life with the guy who madly loves and wants to be married to this flight-fancy writer whose goal as a parent is giving, teaching, and sharing an epic amount of love. i want to raise culturally superior children who speak five languages and always strive to be better people and make the world a better place. i want travel and cultural experiences to be as big a part of my children's lives as it is mine, and i want to write my best sellers sitting in a cabana on the beaches of thailand one year and the south of france the next.
tell me where i can find the guy who wants to share that kind of life...
yeah, in an ideal world where we can all sit around and fantasize about living our dream life, that guy is around every corner. but in my world, where i believe anything we can imagine is possible, because i make the shit i dream happen, it's a different story. i'm a doer, as much as i am a dreamer, i_make_my_dreams_come_true, and i want to share my life with that other rare but enlightened and hard-working soul who does what he says, who is what he says, who does what he dreams. does such a boy exist? and is he out there waiting for me too? i can't possibly be the only dreamer who does, can i?
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