09 February 2010

a prophecy unrealized

the dictionary defines fate as:
  1. something that unavoidably befalls a person; fortune; lot.
  2. the universal principle or ultimate agency by which the order of things is presumably prescribed; the decreed cause of events; time.
  3. that which is inevitably predetermined; destiny.
  4. a prophetic declaration of what must be.
fate is one of the most often pondered questions of my life. it's the theme of my first novel, the source of my fascination with religion, and my biggest draw to LOST.

i long ago gave up a belief in coincidence, choosing instead to find the serendipitous miracle in what others view as mere chance. i'm not wired to believe in mere chance. and i'm grateful for that, because having eyes that see miracles every day means i can and do appreciate the little things.

but it doesn't mean i don't think about it, wonder about the role of fate in our lives, and how much choice we have. i can't not believe we don't make choices, because my life has been defined by one hard fought choice after another. but i also believe i have been guided by something powerful that i've chosen to follow, something others choose to ignore. i believe in the infinite power of me, that i'm limited only by the diminutive confines of my imagination, and that i can be all that i can imagine, and i listen to that voice in my head that says, "yes you can".

and i believe all of this because i believe the universe and i have a great relationship, that we conspire for and with one another, because our conspiracy makes the world a better place. and that "coincidences" (things like randomly bumping into an old friend in an off-beat watering hole in san francisco, being sent to bar hemingway by my pitafo, or meeting someone for the first time you just know - somewhere in the pit of your gut - you've somewhere or somehow known before) are signs, pointing us in the right direction.

miracles, if you will.

and though my story has only really just begun to be written, with an end i've no doubt can be found somewhere in the stars, it will only be as extraordinary as the choices i make each day to follow or ignore those little miracles the universe conspires to share.

~k

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