i've been thinking a lot about why my tour de DC has been such a failure, and though there are many contributing factors, i think i've concluded that, in a grander scheme of things, i'd rather be a big fish in a small pond than the other way around.
i loved being in politics in california. it felt like there weren't that many of us, and our opportunities to reach into the hearts and minds of people kept bringing us all back together. i loved that sense of community i shared with my fellow organizers, and the feeling that i was making a difference. it was my life in a small pond.
DC, on the other hand, is an ocean of world changers, each bringing individual talents, interests, knowledge, and passion for something. there's someone here passionate about every imaginable issue. but my passion doesn't feel so inspired here. i've never been able to take that first step into the fray here, and i don't think it's because i 've been afraid, i think it's because i just didn't want it. i didn't want it to consume my whole life. it's just too big here.
and that stuff (politics, foreign policy, the truman project, current events) matters to me a lot. it defines a large part of who i am, and it troubles me that i've watched it all lose its verve the past seven months. sorta makes me feel like i'm not being me anymore. and i like me way too much (as we all know) to stop being passionate about things that matter to me.
by learning this about myself, it doesn't seem so much a failure anymore. more like a lesson in where i belong. making my waves in a small pond.
~k
I haven't had much time to view your blog lately as we have been so busy ourselves planning a move to Nashville, TN so I was trying to catch up today. I could never see you as a failure. It is actually you and your blogs that have inspired me to take the bull by the horns and enjoy life more. Which in turn has prompted our move out of Southern Illinois. My husband and I both have been so unhappy here for so long but in reality afraid to leave. Why, I could not tell you because as you know there just isn't much here. I want to thank you for the inspirations you have given me and even when you think you are not making a difference just know that even though it may not be visible to you at the time you may be making more of a difference than you know. Keep your chin up, head held high and congrats on the new life you are about to embark upon. I wish you lots of luck and love. Keep blogging!
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