today is my third day of unemployment. it was street cleaning day so i had to set the alarm for 11 as opposed to noon, to move my car to the other side of the street. i also posted an advertisement to sublet my apartment. i have to keep reminding myself to breathe...
i'm trying to work on a plan. key word, "trying". i keep doing things to push myself forward. i'm taking steps, one at a time, without any real vision. there are glimpses of things that could happen, things i hope happen. but i'm also hoping someone will tell me what to do, where to go, or that it'll just happen because it has to, because otherwise i'm going to s.o.l. when my subletter shows up to move in.
calls about real jobs, meetings with campaign people, politics always on, emails with friends so i can figure out where and when i have places to stay throughout the country, stumbling about with trying to let fate decide about my apartment, and so much writing, reflecting, thinking, loving myself. this is how i spend my days and nights.
i'm scared, but hopeful. i'm lost but happy...
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