28 June 2008

beautiful lilies on my table...

...and it’s 11:11 everywhere i look. and that’s how i feel right now too. i’ve had a really busy week, haven’t had a moment to myself ‘cept those few moments before going to sleep each night, and my long overdue night to myself is recharging my spirit.

my life has been opened up so much the past few weeks. i’ve been reconnecting with the friends i left when i joined the campaign, as well as integrating all that is new. i’ve re-discovered that the people i call friends are the most extraordinary people i know. how fortunate i am to recruit and retain the world’s best of the best for myself…

and i met a boy, a complicated but beautiful boy who has inspired me to widen my horizons. i’m reading a new novel that’s rocking my world, listening to music that’s finding a match with my soul, and finding an even deeper part of me than i knew existed. and even if it goes nowhere, he has given me hope and faith that beautiful boys, good enough to meet and surpass my standards, are out there, waiting as patiently as me for the real thing. for the right person.

the thing i’ve found that gives me this crazy, good kind of detachment, is, i guess, confidence. knowing everything is okay and will be okay means it is okay. i finally get that the small things don’t matter. that the things that seem like they should be important, aren’t important. that life rewards the hardworking and faithful. that i am and will continue to be rewarded because i like who i am, i’m proud and happy with the woman i’ve become. like not just in words i find when i write, but in conversations i have, exchanges i meet, people i see, life i live, moments that take my breath away. everything seems brighter. the silver lining in the clouds gleams brighter, and the people in my life are enhancing every moment i live. even the ones i know for only a moment each day or a moment in a lifetime…

i no longer worry how i can make a difference, but feel a certain satisfaction in knowing i do make a difference, every single day, if only for a moment, if only because of a smile or a simple recognition of another. and that’s enough. my glass of pink wine is enough. my simple evening at home, alone with laundry drama, the “once” soundtrack, and “the feast of love” is enough. my friends and family are so much more than enough. everything that matters is already the biggest part of my life. anything else is simply good fortune.

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