19 February 2009

mayor hater

over the course of the last few weeks, i have decided that mayor villaraigosa is just the type of candidate the newer change-generation of politicians should be looking to take over in the coming years.

the reasons are many, and i will admit to probably being somewhat unfair in my assessment, but part of the greatness in living in los angeles is that i get to be as big of an asshole as anyone else who judges our politicians.

first of all, i am disheartened by the villaraigosa political machine. his campaign depends solely on unions, his connections, those who owe him favors, those he controls using fear, and manipulating his base with promises he cannot carry out. sounds like politics-as-usual you say? why yes, i agree. this is precisely why we need to CHANGE our politics!

secondly, he won't debate the other nine candidates (those folks no one has ever heard of) who happen to be running against him. why won't he engage in a debate? my guess is that he's not smart enough to hold his own, probably doesn't have enough knowledge of the issues and how to resolve them to score any points, and clearly lacks the confidence to try and the commitment to improving los angeles to hone in on what concerns angelenos and how he might position himself and the city to move in a brighter direction.

thirdly, his personal choices, as well as his reputation for being a philandering man-whore, are shining examples of just the kind of poor judgment we don't really need in politicians at a time when our world is on the brink of financial, social, and psychological ruin.

and fourthly, i just don't think he's smart enough to run a city as complex, diverse, and persnickety as los angeles. if i weren't so much of a school snob / intellectual elitist, i might not be so turned off by the fact that he attended the people's college of law and unsuccessfully sat for the california bar four times (yes, i did say he failed the bar four times), but i am and i am, and i judge accordingly.

so my response to the following will come to no surprise to you (my eleven readers, bless you!) :

the whispers from inside the campaign go something like this, "mayor villaraigosa is going to run for president".

my question, "president of what? the people's college of law?"

"no bitch, president of the united states of america".

i laughed out loud, and i even pissed a little in my pants, cuz as much as i hate to be the bearer of bad news, 'tis only the republicans that put dumbshits in the white house. and not even they would stoop so low as to put a 4-time-bar-failing graduate of the people's college of law in the seat of leader of the free world.

and i am more likely to vote for dog catcher for mayor than cast my ballot to re-elect antonio.



  1. Hahahaha!! Have I got a good Mayor Antonio V. story for you...back in the day when I was still at O'Melveny and we were hosting an ACC event at the Staples Center in one of the Firm suites.

  2. Although you may, I won't judge him for failing the bar, but I can laugh my ass off at the philandering man-whore comment.

  3. It reminds me of Chris Rock.

    Them: "We want him to run for President?"

    You: "Of what?"

    Them: "The United States."

    You: "Of what?"

    Them: "Of America."

    You: "Which America?"

    Them: "North... America."

    You: *dies laughing* *pees a little*