24 March 2009

decry the line

the panty line, that is.

for the sake of full disclosure, i should probably admit to being that skinny bitch who complains when my size 0 pants feel too snug. but this skinny bitch checks her ass every morning, in the full-length runway mirror, before leaving the house advertising that i'm too fat for my panties.

seriously, if your panties squeeze your ass so tightly that a line digs in, and creates the perception that you have four ass cheeks instead of two, i see that you have three options: (1) get over the fact that you no longer fit into those mediums, and buy bigger underwear and bigger pants to fit over your bigger ass and bigger panties, (2) switch to a thong (they really aren't _that_ bad), or (3) stop wearing underwear altogether.

those really are your only options. i'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you look like you don't have a mirror or a clue when you walk around in public sporting four ass cheeks.



  1. So much for blogging about Politics, even thought this is quite an interesting subject, sorry you have a fat ass, but it is a nice ass to look at, lol

  2. This is so funny, yet so true. The Underwear Wars as I call them. Just when I find a brand I like they discontinue the damn things. I love your work, Kel!

    Lorie B.