ouch!

paris guy left this morning. and i already miss him. terribly.

it's kinda crazy this thing we've got. three months ago, i woulda (and probably did) swear that by the end of this year i'd be in afghanistan or washington, dc. and here i am, two months and a few days after parting ways with him for the first time, missing someone (and i'm talking agony here) i didn't even know on my last birthday.

and somehow, in some unexplainable way, he's managed to become so much to me, mean so much to me, be such a huge part of my life, and in such a short amount of time. as much as so many people want me to try to make sense of things, to make them feel better about the 180 this has flipped the direction of my life, i can't. it doesn't make sense. but it doesn't mean i don't know it's right. and for all the right reasons.

and ya know what? maybe it won't work out. maybe in a few months, we'll look at each other and ask ourselves 'what the fuck was i thinking?'. but for now, i'm not going to think about that. i'm not going to think about trying to make sense of things that cannot make sense. and i'm not going to worry about things that other people think i should worry about. because this is my life, and after everything i've been through the past few years, i deserve the happiness i feel when i'm with him.

the end.

~k