19 May 2010

the bittersweet taste of beginnings

i'm back from my interviews on the other coast, and whilst nothing is yet written in stone (and until the stone tablet hits my desk, details here will remain murky), i'm about 90% certain that i walked out of LAX for the last time today.

i look all around me, and see a part of my life coming to a close. i'm done here. i no longer belong in los angeles or to los angeles. our interests, hopes, and dreams are no longer sympatico. my friends know it. my family knows it. i know it. and fortunately for miss scarlet and me, we're moving to a city much more dog friendly than this, and into an apartment that will cost nearly double what we're paying now (fer reals- YIKES!).

so, knowing as i do that it's time for me to close the book on this chapter in my life doesn't make it any less sad, scary, or stressful. i'll be starting over. in a new city, in a new job, with new friends, a new nightlife, a new day life, a new home, a new neighborhood, a new everything. and as much as i look forward to the exciting days ahead of me, i fear for my safety, security, and serenity. i fear losing how safe, secure and serene i feel on these music box steps. and i fear the great unknown in my very near future.

it's a taste in my mouth that's both bitter and sweet. it's knowing how sweet it is that i have a new adventure ahead of me, and how bitter it tastes to leave behind so much that i know and love...

but it is what it is and i know i am ready for something new...


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