05 January 2013

frost's disappointment

it never even occurred to me to make a resolution this new year.  sure, there are things i'd like to do differently (eating a bit healthier (not that i'm a terribly unhealthy eater, but i could use a few more fruits and veggies), being a bit more patient with my husband (it's really hard to live with a child in an adult-sized body), working out a little more, and writing a lot more), but committing to such things in resolution form...it's just more of a commitment than i can make right now.

the writing thing, though...i really, really, really want to write more.  i feel like i can't seem to find my voice.  i mean, i have lots of mommy tales to tell.  i have lots of political rants in my head.  but i can't find the inclination to put them into words.  wtf!?  it seems like it all went to shit when i left los angeles.  is it because i left my voice on the music box steps?  i've thought about changing the name of my blog, or perhaps starting another, but i would really rather find another way to unleash my muse because 'notes from the music box steps' feels such a part of me.

or maybe it's just my way of hanging onto the life i left behind???

i miss los angeles every single day (especially in the winter).  i miss the random smell of jasmine in the air.  i miss my friends.  i miss my bumpy road, 4100, dusty's, and that it never got cold.  i miss my deck, schneider, and living on the music box steps.  and while there are certainly things i really love about my new life, i'm starting to worry that i intentionally chose the road most travelled, and that maybe, just maybe, it's made all the wrong difference...

~k

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