shopping for boys

for a really long time i've kept myself from dipping my foot in the dating pool. there were a lot of reasons, but ultimately it was hope of something that wasn't to be... but it's good. i'm definitely the best me i've ever been, and my friends (as well as the random attention i've been attracting) are really encouraging me to get out there.

so i joined match...

i'm an online shopper, as a standard rule. it beats the crap out of having to deal with crowds and lines and all the other b.s. associated with shopping in los angeles. it seems, after one week of participating in this new online dating ritual, it may just cut out a lot of a similar type of bullshit i avoid by buying my trousers online.

i would rather drive nails into my skull than "date". i feel terribly uncomfortable, can't get to a place where i can tell if my "date" is being sincere and if i'm being sincerely me, and i don't like that anxiety. this online thing is cool because:

1) there are bazillions of boys to choose from
2) there's no hurt feelings by lack of interest, because you haven't taken the time to invest anything other than reading someone's profile
3) by the time you are ready to invest your precious time, it's because a foundation has already been established. because one of them is smart enough, cute enough, intriguing enough to explore...
4) and if it doesn't work out, there's a dozen more potentials back on the website...

part of me feels cold for looking at it this way, but why shouldn't i look at mate shopping as seriously and as openly as i shop to accessorize my wardrobe? or even more so. think about it, my typical hang out spots are work, bars, coffee shops, lunch sites downtown, and strolling about my neighborhood. what are the chances i'll meet a boy good enough for me? slim. and since i'm hoping to find someone i can share my life with (and since i kind of have and want to keep an extraordinary life, it's going to take someone extraordinary), i better have a wider search.

besides, it's nice to have a first date with someone who worked hard enough to be in the number one spot, after being just another cute, smart, creative guy winking at me...

stay tuned.